We were likely done having children after Sarah. My brain was settling into the idea of getting rid of the bins of baby stuff. I could pass on Jonah's handmedowns now, rather than holding onto everything for two girls. We could finally paint the bedrooms. Everything in its place.
Now? Limbo.
I don't know. I don't know if I want to be pregnant again. I don't know if I could live every day in fear of losing another child.
Is it greedy to want more? We have two amazing, healthy kids. Firmly out of babyhood, much to my dismay. A year ago I was ready to do it again.
Apparently this is okay, not to know. Not to have plans.
The truth is that right now, it's not that I want more children. It's that I just want Sarah.
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