We planned a home birth. But that immediately changed when we discovered no heartbeat. Home should be safe and I didn't want to associate it with death.
What I didn't count on was how hard it was to leave our hospital room the next day. As a rule, I don't like hospitals. After Jonah was born, we checked out exactly 24 hours later, per the stupid county law, at the dreadful hour of 3am. I could not leave fast enough.
But when we tried to leave at 3am, I discovered that it took hours to leave.. that is, with a baby. There are forms, documents, signatures, waivers, exams. It was daylight when we finally left.
But when your baby is dead? Signatures on two forms. One declining immunizations for myself.
And then they hand you a box. 9 months of gestation, and they hand you a box. A box with memory items, horrifically about the size of the baby that does not come home with you.
I lost my son at 40 weeks back in 2006. He was my first and the joy of my life, there is a huge network of us moms, you are not alone. born-still-but-still-born.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeletehttp://curtis-roger.memory-of.com/About.aspx
mama Jennifer ravert directed me to your blog. I was planning a water birth at a birth center when I discovered no heart beat. I delivered her august 28, the day before her due date. if you ever would like to talk my name is Jenna godar on fb or my email is jgodar25@gmail.com sending love and healing vibes <3<3<3<3
ReplyDelete