Traditions

My favorite Chanukah tradition is taking an annual photo of my kids with a large plush dreidel. At least it used to appear large, in those first, early photos. Now, as the kids grow, it appears to get smaller and smaller.

This year's photo was supposed to include Sarah. I had spent all summer looking for matching outfits. And through some luck and frugality I had found green and white striped dresses for Rachel and Sarah at a consignment store. And a green and white striped shirt for Jonah. Newborn, a 2T and a kid-sized 5.

But Sarah isn't here. And up until this morning, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to take the photograph. Until I realized that it might be worse to not document this year. Sarah died, but Jonah and Rachel did not. And they deserve to have everything as "normal" as possible.

So I combed Rachel's hair. Left the kids in their pajamas rather than think about the tiny dress that Sarah would not be wearing, and I plopped them on the couch. I balanced myself on a step stool and did what any mama needs to do for a smile - I offered lollipops in exchange for a few more frames of cooperation. I stopped after less than a dozen clicks. Good enough.