Still

I can't look at photos of Sarah without scrutinizing them in great detail. Each time I find something new to focus on.

Today it was her pale eyebrows and light lashes, contrasting with the dark hair on her head. I have to wonder that if like Jonah and Rachie, she would have slowly become more golden and blonde, with silly tips of dark hair as the roots grew in.

And then I pause. Because her hair will never grow. And I choke back the tears.

Likewise, I wonder what color her eyes were.. or would have been.  She never opened them. I couldn't bring myself to pry them open, for fear of seeing them unfocused, crossed or gazing eerily. So in my mind, they are deep gray that would have also settled into a gorgeous hazel, like her siblings.

I love you, my Sarah.